"What If" to "Even If": Finding Peace from Panic Attacks & People-Pleasing {Guest Ashanti Watson}

Hey doll! Have you ever been sitting in class, totally fine, nothing even happening — and then all of a sudden your heart is racing, your chest is tight, and you have to get up and walk out of the room?

That's exactly what my guest today lived with. Ashanti Watson had anywhere from four to five panic attacks a day — while everyone around her thought she had it all together.

You're Not the Only One

Here's what breaks my heart about Ashanti's story: she was the sunshine in the room. Smiling. Serving everybody. Showing up. And underneath all of it was this massive amount of anxiety that nobody could see — the kind that made her feel so much shame she started wearing a mask everywhere she went.

If you've ever thought "if I just had enough faith, I wouldn't feel this way" — I need you to hear this. Ashanti was a minister, a woman who loved God deeply, and she still had panic attacks. Anxiety is not a faith failure. It's not proof that something is wrong with you. And you are allowed to need real tools, not just "you should pray more."

What We're Talking About Today

In this episode, Ashanti and I get honest about panic attacks, people-pleasing, and the exhausting pressure to look perfect — and then we get practical about faith-based thinking: what it actually is, how it's different from just "staying positive," and the simple mental shifts that help you calm a spiraling mind. If panic has been showing up out of nowhere and you're tired of googling your way out of it, this one's for you.

Key Takeaways

1️⃣ Anxiety is not a sign of weak faith.

Ashanti spent years feeling ashamed because she was a woman of faith who still panicked — and every time she opened up, people said "just pray about it." But real faith isn't never having a hard day. As she put it: real faith is "I don't know what to do, I can't see it, but I'm going to keep going because this is what I know God said." You can trust God and still be struggling. Both can be true.

2️⃣ "Good girl syndrome" and people-pleasing are often fear in disguise.

Ashanti's anxiety turned her into a people-pleaser with a deep fear of rejection. Over time that fear stopped being "please like me" and became "let me control how you see me" — hiding parts of herself, agreeing just to feel accepted. If you feel that constant tension between being the "good girl" everyone expects and just wanting to belong, that pull is so common. Naming it as fear is the first step to loosening its grip.

3️⃣ Perfectionism is really just trying to control the outcome.

This one stopped me. Ashanti defines perfectionism as trying to control the outcome — always. It's the exhausting need to make sure every detail is right so nobody can judge you. But how people perceive you, who your friends are, how it all turns out? That part isn't yours to carry. Her line for it: "Do your best and let God handle the rest." (I told her I need that framed.)

4️⃣ Trade "what if" for "even if."

When fear whispers what if she doesn't like me? what if it all goes wrong?, Ashanti learned to answer with even if. Even if she doesn't like me, I'm still going to be okay. Even if it doesn't work out, God always has another plan. She pulled this straight from Daniel 3, where the three Hebrew boys tell the king, "even if our God does not deliver us, we will not bow." Changing that one word changes the whole story your mind is telling you — the fear that was bubbling up settles like dust after a storm.

5️⃣ When panic hits, turn your attention inward and ask: "What is good right now?"

Fear has a way of making you feel out of body, scattered by everything pulling at you — phones, friends, church, college, all of it. Ashanti's first-step tool is a self-awareness reset: bring your attention back inside and ask what is really going on? And if you can't name it, ask what is good right now? Start small — "I'm alive, I'm breathing" counts. As she says, that's the doorway where the Holy Spirit comes in and does the rest. Do your best, and let God handle the rest.

A Verse to Hold Onto

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us... But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods." — Daniel 3:17–18

This is where Ashanti found her "even if." Faith isn't a guarantee that the hard thing won't happen — it's trusting that you'll be okay either way, because of who God is.

Closing

If panic has been catching you off guard and you've been quietly carrying it behind a smile, please hear me: you are not weak, you are not "too much," and you don't have to white-knuckle your way through this alone. Try the "even if" swap this week. Ask "what is good right now?" the next time your heart starts racing. And if you want to talk it through one-on-one, let's do that together.

xo,
Kristen

Connect with Ashanti Watson

Podcast: Get Free from Anxiety

Facebook group: Anxiety Support for Christian Women

Weekly email newsletter with faith-based tips for changing your thinking and growing your faith

‍If you have a mom, aunt, or another woman in your life who struggles with anxiety, Ashanti is my number-one recommendation for her.